Monday, May 21, 2018

Tired of Apologizing for a Church I Don't Belong To- Lillian Daniels

My Rating: 2 Stars

Description In this book, Lillian argues that it's time for Christians to stop apologizing and realize that how we talk about Christian community matters. With disarming candor laced with just the right amount of humor, Lillian urges open-minded Christians to explore ways to talk about their faith journeys that are reasonable, rigorous, and real.

After the publication of the much talked about When Spiritual But Not Religious Is Not Enough: Seeing God In Surprising Places, Even the Church, Lillian Daniel heard from many SBNRs as well as practicing Christians. It was the Christians who scolded her for her forthright, unapologetic stand as one who believes that religious community matters. The Christians ranted that Christians, by definition, tend to be judgmental, condemning hypocrites, which is why people hate them. By saying religion matters, she was judging those who disagree, they said, proving the stereotype of Christians. Better to acknowledge all that's wrong with Christianity and its history, then apologize. In this book, Daniel shows why it matters how we talk about Christian community while urging open-minded Christians to learn better ways to talk about their faith.

My Thoughts: I work in a career field made up predominately of atheists and agnostics, among whom there are many who have been hurt by the church or else simply have no use for it. Many times in conversation, I have found myself wanting to apologize or else needing to defend my own beliefs, which lead to hesitance in even bringing them up. When I saw Lillian's book, I thought it would be something that offered encouragement to people in such a place, as well as insight on how to handle those situations. But it turns out, Lillian and I don't belong to the same church either. And while I appreciated her writing style and many of the points she brought up, I very much disagreed with her conclusions.

In the second chapter, during a metaphor for the way Christians should handle questions about our faith, Lillian has this to say, "'Well, this path is no better than any other one,' I reply. And I feel good about... I have neglected to apologize but have demonstrated how open-minded I am." But is that the point? To let people know how open-minded we are? Or to express why we believe as we do? I don't see how the author's response answered the question she started this analogy with— which was why was she intent on the faith path she walked.

However, in the tenth chapter, Lillian states, "I am a pastor and I don't care what you believe. I don't think God does either." So maybe the author doesn't care to answer the question as much as she wants to convince people that religious community, any religious community, is what is important. And to some extent, I agree. Community is important, as is Lillian's assertion that no one should feel excluded over a point of disagreement. But neither should we dismiss belief, because what we believe shapes how we behave.

I will mention that I agreed with many of Lillian's critiques of the conservative church, however, in her critiques she also makes the implied assertion that conservatives cannot be open-minded when she uses that term only to refer to people who agree with her on matters of belief or marriage, disregarding that there are even people in between who agree with some, but not all, of the things she does. And, when describing the arguments conservatives make, particularly regarding those of creationism, she says, "If I were Satan and I wanted to destroy every good thing in Christianity, that's the dichotomy I'd set up. It would ensure that all the smart people stayed away and all the idiots stayed in."

As I stated above, I do agree with many of Lillian's observations. The church often does a poor job of listening to the people they wish to reach and many conservative Christians are harsh and judgemental. But that does not mean that her philosophy on religion solves those issues nor that the very real criticisms of her work, from people of all walks of life, can be waved away as she does in this book.

I have provided an honest review after receiving a copy of the book from the publisher.

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